Control

When I was diagnosed with diabetes I wanted to spring into action, attack the thing head on and take control of my life back.

It took over a month to be booked in for induction to the D Club and in that time I went from expecting the worst to actually being quite knowledgeable about ways I could implement different plans to control my own health. After 2 years of testing what worked for me I finally felt as if I had a handle on things and had achieved a lifestyle that was not only improving my quality of life but was also not a massive detour to how I liked to live.

Then ironically on April’s Fools Day All that got thrown out the window once again and I needed to reevaluate once again. For the last 6 weeks I have been undergoing test after test to nail down what they originally thought was gall bladder troubles but has finally been diagnosed as Bile Duct Cancer.

For 6 weeks I have pretty much known what it was, just not the specifics, not how to attack it. Not how to take back control.

Now I have a plan that enables me fight back and strangely enough the things I have control over like exercise and diet are basically just taking my diabetes lifestyle to another level although the drugs can play havoc with my bgl’s and fitness levels. Apparently it’s a pretty decent weight loss plan though 😉

New plan, new routines, new lifestyle.

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Tired

Well today is the day it all kicks off.

I face this new segment of life with some trepidation.

Trepidation I will tire of it all, tire of the stress it will put on my family and tire of the anguish it will cause me.

I’m tired of feeling alone more than anything. Not the kind of alone where I have no one to talk to but alone from sharing the world with the one I love.

Alone from sharing love.

I wish my wife understood I don’t need another nurse, I need a partner in all her forms.

I’m tired of the pain and would like some pleasure