All the Greys

lollipop

Recently a lovely Lady wrote Lifting the Grey and it caused me to move some dust in attic.

I pretty much see most things in Black & White, its comfortable and doesn’t leave room for confusion or misunderstanding. So a blog about the interaction of family and diabetes peeked my interest as family doesn’t fit into my nice B&W world, they just unleash all the greys.

I am the 3rd of 4 children but having spent a decent amount of my childhood in institutions independence was more a necessity than a personality trait.

“Nobody does something for nothing”

You can imagine the effect my diabetes has had on this and how difficult it must be to be part of my family.

I sometimes get asked how my bloods are but after a year of “fine” they have backed off and only really ask now if they can see something isn’t right.

Information is power”  

The carb counting still happens though it is very rare for someone to prepare a meal for me, usually “I will make dinner tonight” turns into “I couldn’t be bothered now, go and get takeaway”.

“You can only rely on yourself”

The little things would be lovely. A cup of tea I didn’t have to ask for is near on heaven these days but my daughter bless her little heart makes a great effort at interest in sports and those conversations make me laugh and do indeed brighten my day.

Cuddles are a weird thing, I was never one for them. “Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer” was definitely not a motto to live by in my childhood.

My daughter on the other hand is a cuddler so after 20 years of her wearing me down I’ve come to enjoy them for what they are and find them quite therapeutic. I highly recommend a couple a day 🙂 

I guess that sums up family, most of it grey. In the end we hide our struggles from them so we aren’t a burden but we also take joy when they share even a moment of our pain or step in to lighten our load because a burden shared is not a burden. 

More greys, more confusion, more love.

 

Lifting the Grey

Bittersweet Diagnosis

Being the eldest of three in my family, you could say that I appreciate being independent. However, there are times that I may be overly independent and refuse to share my burden or even talk about it (story of my life at the moment). As a result, I often feel myself slipping into a moody heap of a mess when things get a bit overwhelming in life. When I get asked if there’s anything they can do to help, unsurprisingly my answer is no. But on reflection, there are things that could be done to make a stressed day bit better. So here are some things that work for me – both diabetes and non-diabetes wise.

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Good for the Goose?

I hate slaving over words and them losing then into the ether. So here it goes again.

I got my HBa1C back last week and I was so happy, all I could think of was that I wanted to share it with #OzDoC.

After doing so it then struck me, how do other T2’s who have trouble with their numbers feel when they see good results? Does it give them hope or depression?

How do T1’s feel when they see good results? I wouldn’t even know where to start as I know so little about T1 but I do know I see some figures they seem happy with and they scare me. 

Is it the fact that we share a name that causes some disquiet between the groups or is it the numbers? Am I adding to the disquiet by posting my results? Should my joy be tempered by others discomfort?

I don’t know the answer though I do know I would rather be T2 than T1 as I feel comfortable in my knowing what I can and can’t do and the thought of the unknown unsettles me. I have seen T1’s say they wouldn’t like to be T2, for, I assume pretty much the same reasons.

I read an article recently that T2’s should learn more about being a T1 as it helps us prepare for our future and T1’s should learn more about being a T2 as it helps them with their present.

Whilst I don’t believe my future is set, knowledge helps us not only manage our own conditions better but makes us more aware of what others go through.

With knowledge comes understanding.

With understanding comes compassion.

With compassion comes acceptance.

I think I need some more knowledge.

 

knowyourself

You Know What A Fact Is?

I was originally going to write something hopefully relevant but then I watched a politician speak and thought there is the name for my blog that I’ve been agonising over.

I spent some of my more youthful years in the Navy and a common phrase that was fading out of use as I joined was “and that’s a fact!”

The phrase was usually used as a closing statement when someone was losing an arguement and delivered as if that statement alone would turn the tide in the war of words.

In the day many a man at sea was secretly a poet at heart and why use two words when two dozen would do. So instead of responding with an appropriate “piss off” the response could often be heard

“and you know what a fact is, its a creature that swims around the bottom of the ocean collecting shark farts”

The relevance that has to this blog and I suspect others is that what I write here is more than likely fact to me but to others its just a Sharks Fart.