What is an achievement?

Two weeks ago a D-friend asked the question What is your greatest achievement since being diagnosed?

A simple enough question you would think but feeling I hadn’t achieved anything of note I replied that I had achieved nothing. This brought a response from another D-friend that in her opinion she had seen me make a marked improvement in my diet and that that was an achievement in her opinion. This got me thinking what do I consider as an achievement?

It is true my diet has improved since diagnosis but sad to say it isn’t because I know better, my knowledge now is not much better than before diabetes is just giving me the motivation to make the healthier choice. So yes I am eating better but not really an achievement for me.

My fitness level  has improved but it is no where near what it should be and once again I knew better in the first place so no real achievement there.

Weight at a glance might appear to be an achievement having lost over 20kg in the last 18 months but not only like the previous two did I know better before nearly all of that weight loss was in the first 6 months and I have lost very little in the last year. Not a great achievement in reality.

For all of these things I knew better in the first place, so for me I don’t feel a sense of achievement in starting to do something I should have always been doing. To look at it another way there was no joy in the eye of this beholder.

After all shouldn’t our achievements bring us joy? Losing weight doesn’t bring me joy because even after losing around 25kg I am still wearing the same fat guy clothes I was wearing at diagnosis.

All these thought went through my mind as I contemplated had I really achieved anything. Then something happened, I bent down and tied my shoelaces and I felt joy.

A combination of diet, exercise and weight loss had given me my achievement o_o”

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Troubles are like Tribbles

Troubles are like tribbles, if you leave one unattended it gathers momentum and pretty soon it feels like you are buried  under an avalanche of them. When in fact its still just one problem.

 

My problem with this blog is that apart from needing a catchy title I don’t really know where to start that will actually lead somewhere, it all just seems like a ramble. Here is todays.

 

What concerns me about this trip is the food. What was once one of my greatest joys in life has turned into a monster that seems to be eating all my joy and life as it consumes my every waking thought.

I have spent the last 18 months learning what I can eat and how much so that I have very few problems with my bgl’s. What do I do in lands where the food is different and the quantity of carbs is unknown. On top of that I have enough trouble communicating with english let alone spanish, scouse or heaven forbid scottish.

I envisage myself going back to 11 tests a day and many an hour strolling about alot like when first diagnosed but I having let it gnaw away for so long instead of putting it in its place it is shaping as the focal point of my adventure instead of something to savor on the journey.

 

Maybe blogs aren’t meant to make sense. Maybe they are just they modern way for old men to ramble on to themselves and not appear crazy.